"Oh Yes We Need a Little Christmas, Right This Very Minute..."

I’ll admit, we’ve been lacking a little Christmas spirit around these parts lately.  I know I’ve mentioned once or eighteen times that work has been busy for both my hardworking husband and myself.  And because we’ve both needed to be close to the office in case we got called in (and our respective offices are a couple of hours apart), we haven’t been able to spend as much time together as we otherwise would have.   Kind of a bummer.

Back in November I ordered a live Christmas tree from the Boy Scouts.  I was so excited to start a great family Christmas tradition; I imagined we’d play Bing Crosby and sip hot chocolate or eggnog as we decked our ah-pah-tu halls, appreciating the twinkle of the lights of Seoul as we added lights to our lovely and pine-tree-smelling Christmas tree.  I had even purchased a Christmas tree stand, some ornaments, and some peppermint Hersheys kisses.  Alas, my Christmas vision was not to be.  There was a mix up with the Boy Scouts and they sold my tree to someone else—for the best I suppose, as it turns out.  My sweet husband hasn’t been able to come to Seoul since Thanksgiving, so any decorating that got done would be done by yours truly.  And to tell the truth, I was feeling worn out and grouchy, and guilty that I would be leaving my husband to go back to the States for Christmas, even though he was remarkably sweet about the whole thing.  At the same time, I knew I was just being a big brat—that Christmas isn’t about decorations and working hard isn’t something to complain about and I have too much to be thankful for to ever be justified in feeling sorry for myself.  And even if I wasn’t going to be with him, I at least wanted to put up some decorations for my husband to enjoy when he brought a bunch of soldiers down to Seoul.  So on one of my off-nights in Seoul, I chastised myself into some kind of holiday shape and headed out on a Christmas tree hunt.

I set out for the Express Bus Terminal Shopping Mall, which I had heard contained a big section of Christmas stores this time of year.  My sources didn’t lie—the Mall is a few long underground corridors between subway stations that are lined with shops selling everything from pantyhose to cactus plants, and it did indeed have a large holiday section.  A lights-flashing,tinsel-sparkling, santas-dancing, ajummas-decorating, holiday section.  It was a bit overwhelming.  I got sidetracked by the wrapping paper and bow store, and then by trying to find the perfect ornament for the Army Wife Ornament Swap, and then had to rush to find a fake tree before everything closed for the evening.

Let me just say, fake pinecones on a fake tree is really not my style, but you do what you gotta do.

I maneuvered my fake Christmas tree box back onto the subway, and somehow made it home without knocking anyone over.  I created a Christmas Pandora radio station—complete with Bing Crosby—and got to work.  

First order of business:  the pinecones have to go. 

That completed, I put the sections together, then took off all the little plastic sleeves.  I am still finding those little buggers in corners and under furniture, two weeks later.  My plastic tree was still looking a little sad until I bent all the branches around to mostly cover the metal rod in the middle.

And once I got the lights and ornaments on it, it was looking almost respectable.  I didn’t have garland or a tree topper, so I made do with sparkly wire ribbon from the wrapping store.  A table runner made a decent substitute for a tree skirt.

Not bad, huh?  I mean, it’s nothing like the beautiful live tree decked out with a couple decades’ worth of lights and ornaments that I’ll enjoy while I’m home in Alabama.  

But it did make me feel a little more merry.

Christmas Cards

I sent my Christmas cards out last week, but I almost didn’t—I almost talked myself out of it at the last minute. 

My first plan for the cards was to make them, but North Korean craziness and a month of night shifts made that plan impractical.  My sweet and hardworking husband, chained to his desk until nine or ten at night most nights, gave his approval for whatever I came up with.  I ended up just picking up some Korean cards with English translations from one of the vendors at the post exchange (PX).  I was in a hurry, and I thought that it would be fun for my friends to get a Korean Christmas card.  It was only later, when I was addressing the envelopes, that I started to worry.

One of the things I always thought was funny in China was the use of English phrases in random, and sometimes wildly inappropriate, places.  I remember a lady I interviewed showing us a photo album from her daughter’s wedding that was inscribed with such meaningful and eloquent phrases as “Hit me baby one more time” and “It’s too late to apologize” (ok, this song wasn’t out in 2005, but it was a similar phrase from one of the popular break-up songs of the year).  The lady pointed the phrases out proudly.  “Look—English!”  “Umm hmm, very nice.”  There’s also the infamous use of random English phrases on t-shirts and other items.  Oh, if only the middle aged ladies who proudly sported curse words on their apparel knew what they meant.  Or if I could figure out what “happy life sunshine” meant, exactly.

 And of course English-speakers aren’t always the ones laughing about inappropriately appropriated language—I’m sure many a Chinese kid chuckled over Brittney Spears’ tattoo that meant “strange”.  There are actually entire websites dedicated to Chinese tats gone wrong.  I used to joke with my Chinese friends in high school that we should make a shirt that said something like “I’m a dummy trying to look cool” in Chinese—if we styled it well, we decided, it would be a great hit among the unsuspecting English-speakers.

So, back to my Christmas cards.  I’m trying to learn Korean, as you know, and have gotten far enough to read the hangul on the front of the card; I also understood some of the message on the inside, including a couple of the old-style Chinese characters.  When I bought the cards I didn’t think too much about it;  reasoning that “‘New day, new morning” probably makes more sense for a Christmas card in Korean.  But does it?  I mean, I assume since the Korean guy selling the cards spoke Korean it’s probably not as strange as say break-up lyrics in a wedding album, but what if the Korean message doesn’t match the English message of “Merry Christmas and Happy New Year” at all?  What if the tone of the card is more suitable for an elderly person getting over a loss or looking wistfully at the past and hoping that somehow the morning will bring the good things written in the Chinese characters?  The realization hit me.  I had become one of those people that I used to mock—people who buy things with foreign words on them because they look cool.

To all of the Korean-speakers who read our Christmas card, please accept our wishes for a blessed and joyful Christmas season, and forgive my not speaking Korean well enough to pick out an appropriate Christmas card if the one I sent is actually more suitable for a grieving grandmother.

Yesterday

Whew.

Snow!

Why We're Working Long Hours, or What's Going on in Korea

Busy busy busy.  To tell the truth, it hasn't slowed down very much since Thanksgiving.  Or more accurately, the day before Thanksgiving, when North Korea lobbed artillery at a South Korean island (Yeonpyong Do), killing four people.  Why did North Korea do it?  The stated reason is that South Korea fired into its territorial waters, forcing the North Korean forces to respond, but South Korea has carried out live-fire exercises from that location for years without getting much more than a tongue-lashing in the North Korean news.  North Korea has always disputed the South's claims to the maritime territory in that area; after the Korean war, neither the Chinese nor the North Koreans had the naval power to deny the UN alliance's claims to the islands, and North Korea does not recognize the UN-drawn Northern Limit Line separating the waters of the two countries.  But it's not clear why North Korea would decide to act on the issue, in this way, at this time.

It's possible the move was designed to give the "Young General" successor Kim Jong Un some credibility with the military, who can't be happy that a 20-something kid with no military experience is suddenly a four-star general in line for the throne, as it were.  Or it could have been intended just to land North Korea a top spot in the nightly news--it sounds like it would be counter-intuitive, but in the past, North Korea has carried out provocations in order to better their bargaining position when it came to things like aid and diplomatic concessions.  A more unsettling possibility is that the progress of North Korea's nuclear program has given the Kim regime more confidence that there will not be military repercussions for his actions.

The incident has been much in the news here, even nearly a month later.  It was the first time since the Korean War that the South Korean people saw images of destroyed buildings and shell-scarred landscapes on the nightly news, and the South Korean public was not happy with the South Korean military's perceived weak response.  The BBC noted, "During the Yeonpyeong incident, North Korea reportedly fired 170 shells while Southern forces fired 80. Satellite images seemed to show many of them falling far from their targets.  There were reports of equipment not working, of troops not fully prepared."

The local news here has definitely not been as impassive as the BBC--President Lee's administration has been criticized strongly, even after he replaced the Minister of Defense.  The new Minister, perhaps sensing the current political mood, has said that the South Korean military will respond with air strikes should the North carry out such an attack in the future--a change from the proportional response of the past.

Which brings us to today.  South Korea said yesterday that it intends to carry out another live-fire exercise on Yeonpyong Do for one day between 18-21 December.  No one is sure how (or even if) North Korea will respond, but the Minister of Defense's comment about air strikes suggests that the South Korean response to any attack will be much stronger than it was on 23 November.  There are several diplomatic initiatives underway to relieve tensions; the Governor of New Mexico currently in North Korea for talks (in an unofficial capacity, he says), and the Deputy Secretary of State is in China for talks with a senior Chinese official who recently returned from North Korea.  Other countries in the region are urging restraint.

Please say a prayer for the leadership and military forces here.  But please don't worry--we're quite safe in our basement and tank, respectively.

**Quick disclaimer:  everything I've written is my personal opinion and is based on news reporting--it's unrelated to my job and to any policy of the U.S. government or military**

Famous

It seems I single-handedly necessitated an ah-pah-tu notice, in English!

Meh.  Guess that's what I get for not doing laundry for two weeks.  But you know, sometimes laundry (or inspecting the "veranda") is just not that high up on the priority list.

Army Wife

Did you know I'm an Army Wife?  There are so many stereotypes associated with the term.  And I fit almost none of them...for which, on the whole, I'm thankful.  But as you might imagine, it was with a bit of trepidation that I entered the world of the Army Wife Socials.

My initiation, dinner with the Battalion Commander's wife, was a blessedly simple, low-key affair.  Having been raised in a good southern household, I knew to bring a small hostess/thank you gift (Godiva hot chocolate mix), dress appropriately, and show up on time, not early.  My not knowing how to navigate the strangely-numbered, inexplicably dead-ending streets of the on-post housing made sure of that last one, but I was only two or three minutes late--still within the window of acceptability.  When Marli answered the door in jeans, announced that her oldest daughter was changing out of her gymnastics clothes but would be with us shortly, and brought out a big pot of pizza soup, I began to feel much more at ease.  We chit chatted a bit, then talked shop; not only am I an official Army Wife, I am also the Company Family Readiness Group Leader, and since I've only been an Army Wife for a few months and have never been a part of an FRG, I needed help.  Marli was great, repeatedly saying things like, "There are not huge expectations on you for this--just do what you can do" and "let me know how I can help".  Hooray!

Event two, a luncheon, was less personal but more awkward.  The Armed Forces Spouses Club of Korea is a serious affair.  There are multiple Volunteers Of The Month, numerous committees, and all kinds of work to be done.  There are also several Generals' wives, all of whom (as far as I can tell) hold some flavor of supervisory office.  These women may not wear the rank on their collars, but don't be fooled--there is definitely a hierarchy here, it's just harder to figure out.  Since I came with Marli, I was allowed to sit with the "field grade" officer wife set--mostly Majors/Lieutenant Colonel type wives.  I recognized exactly one other woman--the wife of Mike's Battalion Commander in Germany (who had, on the occasion I met her, been called "a real b****y hag", but turned out to be a very nice retired Lieutenant Colonel).  I thought I might get a chance to say hello and introduce myself--her husband apparently thinks very highly of my sweet soldier (and rightly so!), and I was curious how she had adapted to the Army Wife life after herself being in uniform.  But she was seated at the Generals' Wives' table.  Oh well.  Lunch was fine, the speaker (3rd generation American-in-Korea, who runs a medical charity and has made several trips to North Korea) was good.  But when someone got an award for answering her email in a timely manner and attending a last-minute meeting on a Saturday, and when the lady running the show announced to the room that her mind just wasn't on business, since her daughter's gerbil had died, and she couldn't stop thinking about the little guy, and she had to tell her daughter when she got home from school...hmm.  I don't mean to be harsh--I think these ladies are probably very nice, and this organization probably does a lot of good.  My life is just different, is all.

Last night was my third Army Wife social event--a coffee at the Brigade Commander's Wife's house.  Having become slightly more familiar withe post housing, I wasn't nervous about finding the place.  I was a bit...not nervous exactly, but wanting to make a good impression.  The invite said to bring an ornament under $7 to swap; since everyone shops at the post exchange, I wanted to buy an ornament off post.  I had intended to find a beautiful Korean handicraft, but the night of the fake Christmas tree shopping expedition I ran out of time before I finding something perfect (I've explained to you my exasperating shopping habits).  I did, however, find appropriately cute Christmas wrapping paper.  So I pulled out a glass ornament that I bought in Bahrain on a port call, put it in a cute box that had originally contained Chinese tea, and wrapped it in the cute Christmas tree paper--all the while feeling a little nervous that I hadn't found that lovely and unique handicraft.  But there was nothing I could do about it at that point.

Having read the "Company Commander's Spouse Survival Guide", completed level I and II of the "Army Family Team Building" online training, and perused www.marriedtothearmy.com, I knew that coffees--an Army Wife tradition--are social gatherings usually hosted by the Senior Spouse.  I had to refer back to the "Company Commander's Spouse Survival Guide" to find that dress is "casual".  So I popped on my blue Ann Taylor sweater dress (which brings me happy thoughts of the night my sweet husband proposed) and new black boots, made sure a coworker was going to cover the first hour or so of my shift, and headed off to post housing.  Only to be greeted at the door by two ladies in jeans.  Sigh.  And again, only one person I recognized in the room.  And I was the lowest-ranking Wife.  And--remember, I'm working nights and had just woken up--no coffee!  What kind of a coffee doesn't have coffee?!  But I am a southern woman by birth, and I can chit chat with just about anyone when the occasion arises, so it was going to be ok.  And truthfully, I had fun.  The ladies were cute and very nice, I was able to find a beverage suitable for pre-shift consumption and someone to chit chat with, and best of all--my ornament was "ooohh"ed and "ahhh"ed over.

And I was able to leave gracefully after the ornament exchange to go to work.

Need an Idea for a Christmas Gift?

Get your loved ones a Spam gift set!

Randomness

1.  Christmas shopping today.  I'm still on the night shift, which makes doing anything other than work more difficult, but luckily for me, E-Mart stays open until midnight, and Dongdaemun shopping district is hoppin' until five in the morning.  So tonight, I closed down three different shopping malls.  First, to the Express Bus Terminal Underground Shopping Street, for a Christmas tree.  More on this later--I'll just say here that I'm sad to not be putting up a live tree this year.  Next, E-Mart for a couple of food items and a small Christmas gift for my sweet husband.  E-Mart is great.  Tonight's discovery--to be filed under "Only in Korea"--canned meat product in the organic section.  They love their Spam here.  Next, on to Dongdaemun.  It was mostly the fashion malls that were open so I didn't buy that much (clothes shopping just hurts my feelings here because nothing fits; I don't even bother trying to shop for shoes), but it was fun to wander around, and fun to not feel like it was weird to be wandering around at 2:30.

2.  I was not happy with the ah-pah-tu this week.  First, the Yellow Tie Guys (all the employees that man the security booths and maintenance offices wear yellow ties) woke me up at 2:30 p.m., the equivalent of 4:30 in the morning for a day-shift worker, for either a survey or some kind of election, not sure which.  Which, add another example to the "I really need to learn this language" pile.  I didn't know which block to put a stamp in, so they compromised by just having me sign my name, then write "wife," and sign again.  Who knows?  The next day, they woke me up at 10:30 a.m. to tell me there was a water leak in the apartment below.  Since I haven't done laundry or run the dishwasher since Thanksgiving (I told you I was a little behind on household chores), I was fairly certain that I didn't cause the leak, but ok, come have a look.  Kyoungmin Unnie saved me--my realtor didn't answer the phone when I called, and Mike was out in the field, so I called her and she translated for me.  Such a blessing to have family here!  I went back to sleep.  My realtor called half an hour later; I explained the situation, she called the ah-pah-tu, then called me back--the leak's not an emergency, and the maintenance people aren't going to come until after 4 p.m.  Perfect.  I went back to sleep.  An hour later, the doorbell rings again.  It's the Yellow Tie Guys.  Seriously?  Ten minutes, then they leave and I try to sleep again...only to be woken up, again, half an hour later.  This time after they leave I tape a piece of paper with a big red X over the doorbell.  Back to bed.  1:30 p.m., the doorbell rings again.  I am really, REALLY wishing I knew how to express anger politely in Korean.  Instead, I open the door and tell them, in English, that I have a 15 hour shift tonight  and really need to sleep.  I'm pretty sure that they didn't understand what I said; I'm also pretty sure that they caught my meaning from my facial expression and tone of voice.  Long story short, the maintenance guys have to order a part, and they're going to fix it sometime next week.  I'm going to try to disable the doorbell.

3.  Ok, #2 was more of a rant than I intended.  I get cranky when I'm sleep-deprived.

4.  It's impossible to dislike living in a country that has heated subway seats and heated public toilet seats.

5.  It's funny--Mike and I have seen each other at least once every week since we've been in Korea, but I still miss him a lot when we're apart.  In a weird way, it feels like we're more distant during the short separations than we were when we were living on separate continents.  I think it's mostly because we're both busy, and on different schedules, and since we know we'll see each other in a couple of days we don't make as much effort to write long emails or catch each other at a good time for meaningful phone conversation.  Or maybe it's because after getting used to actually being together, phone calls and emails just don't cut it.  Whatever the reason, I miss my husband!

Trash Bags and Pity Parties

I had a mini-breakdown last night.  It's been kind of a rough week; nothing huge, just small things that added up and wore me down.  It was my first week back on night shift, and I couldn't seem to get a solid block of sleep, plus work is still a bit crazy due to recent current events here.  I was looking forward to having the weekend to sleep in, clean the ah-pah-tu, do some laundry, and in general regroup, but Mike couldn't come down to Seoul this weekend because his work is also still a bit crazy, so if I wanted to see him I had to go to Dongducheon.  I woke up Saturday evening, excited to go see my sweet husband but feeling like I really should stay in Seoul and impose some kind of order on my living environment there.   I compromised by folding the clean clothes that had never made it out of the laundry basket after I washed them a week ago and taking out all of the trash (I still had a turkey carcass in my kitchen--I know, gross).

Taking out the trash here in Korea is a bit more involved than it is in the States.  In San Diego, all I had to do was bag everything up and dump it down the trash chute.  Here, I have to sort everything into separate bags:  paper, styrofoam, glass, plastic bottles, vinyl (still haven't really figured out what's supposed to go in this one, but most people put non-bottle plastic trash here), cans, other metal trash, lightbulbs, and food.  Only the food has to be dried (in place of a garbage disposal in my sink, I have a food spinner that is supposed to sling all of the water out of the food), bagged by itself, and put in a separate place from all the other trash.  Oh, and anything that doesn't fit neatly into these categories has to be thrown away in a special trash bag that you have to buy from the local convenience stores.  Did I mention that the trash room is on the bottom floor in another building?

Now, this system is probably better for the environment, but it is not nearly as convenient as throwing everything into one trash bag, maybe setting aside a few cans or bottles that can be recycled, and tossing the lot down a chute or in a big garbage can that the garbage man picks up.  I'm usually conscientious about it, but on rare occasions I have given in to my laziness, dumped everything in one bag, and either taken it on base to throw away (even though the dumpsters say "no outside trash") or bought a big mixed-trash bag ($2 or so) and put everything in that to throw away in the ah-pah-tu trash room.  I know, shame on me.

So back to Saturday night.  I had a gross turkey carcass, a bunch of bathroom trash (no way I was about to sort that), and random kitchen and cleaning items that needed to go.  I decided to go with the base option, but halfway down the elevator started feeling guilty and changed my mind.  So I walked over to the Mini Stop convenience store to buy a trash bag.  Only they don't put them out on the shelves, so I had to ask the girl behind the counter.  I said it in Korean first--apparently poorly, because she didn't understand.  I said it in English.  Blank look.  I said it again in Korean, miming throwing something away.  Oh, she said, she has 10 small bags for 3,500 won (just over $3).  But my stuff won't fit in a small bag, and anyway I'm on my way to the subway and don't want to take the other 9 bags with me to Dongducheon and back, so I shake my head no, and ask if she has a big one.  In Korean, then English, then sign language.  Yes, she has 5 big ones in a package for 10,000 won.  At this point I'm visibly frustrated.  No, I just want one.  This time the Korean works on the first try, and I pay, thank her and leave.  I toss everything in the $2 trash bag and dump it in the trash room.  Then I start crying.

Why can't I learn this language!  I've been here almost half a year, I should be making progress!  Why are there so many trash rules, anyway?  I miss the U.S.!  I was rude to that girl, and it wasn't her fault, and I couldn't even tell her why or that I was sorry because I don't even have the vocabulary of a toddler!  And my house is still a mess, and I'm frustrated with my boss, and I haven't worked out in a week and a half, and I have an hour and a half ride before I see my husband, and...and...and.

I spent 15 minutes or so on a bench outside the subway stop getting myself together, then headed up to Dongducheon, where my sweet husband picked me up from the subway stop even though it's just a short walk to base, gave me a long hug, and let me vent for the better part of an hour.  And even though nothing had changed--I still don't speak Korean as well an Junie, the ah-pah-tu is still messy, work is going to be ugly when I go back tomorrow--the world seemed much more merry.

And, since Mike lives on base, I can throw all the trash into one big trash bag.